Angry Valentine

It's my favorite time of year. Or it should be. Valentine's Day is literally in a few days. I should be gushing over hearts and flowers and baking heart shaped cupcakes. But I'm not. I just can't because I'm so angry. Once again I've allowed PCOS and my infertility to creep into full focus and ruin this time for me. I've literally been peeing on a stick for 15 days straight and still no "peak". I've called the bouncey smiley a few choice words as well, each morning getting more angry. I told Josh I've probably either missed my LH surge or I'm not getting one this cycle. Since I have taken so many of the 2 month supply of tests I'll just finish them off and will purchase cheep ones off Amazon. There are no words to explain how extremely frustrating and heartbreaking this is for me. I want to give up. Seriously, I've come close many times but this month I literally am so tired of this. I'm gone from angry to sobbing. (Thanks PCOS, your are a real bitch) Seriously, why are all these teenagers and single ladies that don't want kids that take the night after pill or have abortions allowed to conceived when I so desperately want this more than anything and I can't get a stupid smiley face to stop flipping bouncing. This is a rough one for me. All of them have been rough but this one for some bizarre reason felt different for me. I was hopeful popping my vitamins Morning and night. Taking my herbal tea with me to work. Staying on Shakeology, using my essential oils. I felt like this was finally going to be it for us. But according to that darn bouncing smiley we aren't even going to having a chance. So this Valentine's Day, I'm fine with being home alone, because what's the point anyways.