It's just a backache

Actually, it's not just a backache. For me it's worrying if I have another ovarian cyst forming. It's excruciating back pain, that nothing can relieve. It's not being able to sleep or get comfortable enough to even dream about sleeping. And to think I still have 7 days of hormones I still must take. The very thought of taking those pills makes me want to scream. I'm so sick of everything. The fertility treatments, the uncomfortable smiling when I'm around a pregnant co-worker while everyone goes on and on about the pregnancy. This is one of my down moments. Let me tell you. I'm way down. So down I actually had the thought of quitting. That's scares me the most. The thought of me actually contemplating giving up my journey and saying that's it. I'm never going to be a mom. I honestly don't think I could do it. Time will tell. I'm gearing up for my next IUI. For now, I lie awake in bed with tears of the baby I so long for, while dealing with this annoying backache.